Aaaauuu…. ttttttoooo …. Shooooooowww

Aaaauuu….  ttttttoooo …. Shooooooowww

The alarm rang at its usual time of 7:30. I woke up the children and rushed into the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Normally, while preparing breakfast, I would watch news on the TV. This was before the closing of Kurdish TV and alternative media channels. There are no trustworthy media channels that give news from the Region anymore. So today, my birds and turtles keep me company instead of the TV.

As the children started their breakfast, I checked my mobile phone. I saw many messages from my friends in the West. They sent messages like “how are you? Are you okay?” From their messages, I understood that something bad had happened in my city or in the country. I immediately opened the TV, and checked CNN Turk. I tried to understand what had happened. There are a lot of advertisements on CNN Turk. I was sure something important had happened, but I couldn’t find it on Turkish media.

A man on CNN Turk was shouting, “Aaaauuu….  ttttttoooo …. shooooooowww”. It was an advertisement.

It was with this soundtrack that I read at the bottom of the screen, in small letters that the co-presidents of HDP (Peoples’ Democratic Party) Demirtaş, Figen Yüksekdağ, and the HDP parliamentarians Ferhat Encü, Selma Irmak,  Aycan İrmez, Leyla Birlik, Abdullah Zeydan, İdris Baluken, Sırrı Süreyya Önder, Ziya Pir, Nursel Aydoğan, Gülser Yıldırım had been detained last night. I uttered, “Ohh no!”

My son asked “what happened mom?” “The police detained them” I answered. Then my little son asked “Were Uncle Osman, Ahmet Uncle and Meral Aunt also detained”. These are other HDP parliamentarians that are good family friends of ours. I said “no”to my son, “…for now” I said to myself.

The co-presidents and representatives of the 3rdlargest political party in Turkey have been detained, but still advertisements continue on the TV. A new advertisement announces “Gold means to invest in the future. Invest in gold, invest in your future”. I began to nervously laugh. Do we have a future in Turkey?

Suddenly, there was a big boom. The windows of my house shook. I jumped up from the breakfast table and opened the door to look outside. I tried to figure out what happened by the smoke. My face turned white. I told my children not to worry. My eldest son said, “it was a bomb, mom”. I said, “Maybe it was a big traffic accident”. He said “No mom, it was a bomb. It was the same as the bomb that was close to our home, the same sound”. At the end of March, a bomb exploded close to our house. The children were alone at home. I was at a meeting with Selahattin Demirtaş, in the parliamentary building in Ankara. My husband was also not at home. When the furniture and windows of the house shook, the children thought that it was an earthquake. They rushed out of the house and went to the neighbor’s.
The TV is still on. They are now giving the traffic report for İstanbul.  I am still trying to figure out where the bomb exploded. But there is no internet. They cut the internet again. I eventually learned from my friends that the bomb exploded in Bağlar, a district of Diyarbakır.  I tried to reach my aunt, who lives in Bağlar.

At the same time, the school bus came and picked up the children. After they left, I thought “why did I send them to school?” I called the bus driver, but the telephone didn’t connect. I could not reach him.

Now, the voice in TV is shouting:
“the weather forecast was brought to you by… heating company,  warming you  and your home”.
In fact we and our houses are freezing. Nothing can warm us any longer in this country.

While I was thinking I needed to go to the city center, my mother called me, begging me not to go. She said that all the roads were closed going into the city center.

At the same time, the voice returned “….don’t just watch, do something” and again “Aaaauuu….  ttttttoooo …. shooooooowww”  started.

While I was at home, walking around in circles, going crazy, I couldn’t help but sing along:

Nurcan Baysal
04.11.2016, Diyarbakır
*As published in Il Manifesto on 10.11.2016